Ok.. so it seems My boy finn has become famous and several of you are begging "politely of course" to hear more from him. Yes, he does write well and that is because he's talented and also because he has a VERY talented MISTRESS.. he he..
So don't miss this one.. I promise it will have you giggling and put a smile on your face as finn reluctantly follows My command to write for Me about an afternoon he spent on the golf course officiating a golf tournament of Senior Women which he termed to Me as "Bluehairs".
Ky
I'm going to send along some "Blue Hair" humor as well.. enjoy...
Kinky Golf
The other morning my Mistress commanded that finn write a short story for Her blog that She had not posted in since May 21 (winks). This boy had to officiate a golf tournament for Senior Women and finn referred to the participants as “blue-hair’s.”
For those of you that are not familiar with the term blue-hair it is a way of describing seniors that have so much gray hair it has a blue tinge to it. This boy does not know where the tint comes from if the hairdressers do that on purpose or if it because it is not washed properly but it’s there.
finn thinks these ladies seem to confuse a few terms so he will supply definitions and provide much needed clarification:
A caddie is one who assists the player in accordance with the Rules, which may include carrying or handling the player’s clubs during play.
When one caddie is employed by more than one player, he is always deemed to be the caddie of the player whose ball is involved, and equipment carried by him is deemed to be that player’s equipment, except when the caddie acts upon specific directions of another player, in which case he is considered to be that other player’s caddie.
A slave is a person held in servitude as the chattel of another.
A Rules Official is one who administers the rules of the game especially as a referee or umpire.
That’s what finn does. he is a Rules Official and a volunteer. A boy doesn’t say that to be braggadocios but to merely state the facts.
finn feel's that some of the ladies playing on this day might have these definitions mixed up and might need to review the correct meanings.
When finn arrived at the golf course a storm from the night before had left evidence of its power with a tree lying across the street blocking the entrance to the golf course from one direction. finn fortunately was early (looking at his Mistress .) The ladies on the tournament committee were talking about starting a half hour late because of the tree blocking traffic from one way.
This did not sit well with finn because it is the player’s responsibility to be at the tee at the starting time that has been laid down by the committee. Basically, be early in case there is an unexpected delay.
Gradually the course started to come alive with participants and the gray (blue) hair was offset with plenty of pastel colored shorts exposing miles of deep blue and purple veins. Most of their butts provided the evidence that athleticism had long since disappeared. Many had white sleeveless tops in anticipation of the 100-degree temperatures.
A member of the committee handed me two sheets of paper. One described the special local rules of the course and the other, listed the starting groups and the teeing ground from which they were to start play. When she handed me the paper she told me that there would be some junior (not yet senior age) players competing but they could not win any of the prizes since this was a senior tournament. go figure?
Often when finn has extra time and sees a woman, my mind will wonder if she is dominant or submissive? finn usually doesn’t spend much time on the ones that appear submissive, which allows more time to concentrate on those that seem dominant. That was the case on this day. With nearly 72 women participants and only four of us officials (all males) this seemed like a perfect opportunity to dream away.
Some walked as though they could play linebacker for a professional football team. Many wore their hair straight with cuts that appeared to be easily maintained. Many just acted as though they were financially well off and socially connected. Some appeared to be able to melt the porcelain off of the toilet when they relieve themselves. This boy wondered what it would be like to be their slave. What sort of degrading and humiliating acts would they force upon a slave if they owned one? Would they invite their other pompous friends over to use their property? How many of these ladies actually owned a slave in real life?
As this boy snapped back to reality he quickly scanned the rules sheet and at the bottom of the sheet it said to please go inside to thank Mr. Bals and his staff for their service today. Mr. Bals??? C’mon! What type of service did he provide? It was a private golf course and he was just the head pro. Were all of these ladies getting serviced?
After a quick huff at the oversight, boy switched papers and looked at the list of competitors. There was a Mrs. Von Rump in one grouping and a Mrs. Kinker in another. (i swear this is true.) This caused me to dream more and before long the pro was announcing some rules changes to the competitors and it was time to head out to the course.
The tournament went off without much controversy. In the first group into my zone a lady came over to me after she had hit an errant shot. A pale wrinkled face with two weeks worth of lipstick covering her lips and big wide gold plastic sunglasses covering her eyes. She said “I can hit that shot.. but I don’t know what it is when men are here watching me I just go to pieces.” finn had to have a puzzled look on his face. he thought WTF??? is finn your caddie or a psychologist?
In the very next group a lady came over to finn and whispered if he knew where the nearest restroom was? She had only played one hole! Does finn look like your slave? This boy just had to smile and tell her he didn’t know.
As the day came to a close one of the other rules officials came over to me. He had requested the officials be allowed to wear shorts during this tournament because of the heat. We are never allowed to, but since this was not our normal organization administering this tournament he and another official did wear shorts. So we had two that did and two like myself that did not.
So this retired airline rep turned rules official came over to me in his shorts and says “I am not sure about this wearing these shorts.” He continued “ I went over to this one group and the player asked me if they were behind their pace of play?” He told them they only had three holes to go and that they appeared that they were close to their pace of play. The lady turned to him and asked “ You aren’t going to spank us are You?” He answered her by saying, “You‘re cute too but I‘m married.”
Now you can see why finn thought he would share the definitions earlier. We administer the rules not spankings. It’s probably too bad none of the ladies are reading this in my Mistress’s blog or perhaps they are!
1 comment:
Funny!
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