slaves running the show

Ok.. I'm really pissed off. I can not stand it when a slave is allowed to run rampant and top from the bottom. Unfortunately this is stemming from one that was Mine at one time.

finn and I have been frequenting the Palace chat which is a fun alternative to MIRC, which had become boring of late. Quite some time ago, zef(now ahrenwim) told Me of a Palace which had the same name as My home on MIRC, Elysian Fields. I started going there as did finn and I have really been enjoying it. I truly was considering petioning DeSima, the owner, for membership for Me and Mine. I have begun to learn their tech world which because it is mostly visual is very different from the one I'm used to. I enjoy learning new things. www.palacechat.com

The atmosphere is different there and what I liked most is that in this Palace, all lifestyles were welcome, including Goreans and pretty much anything goes scenewise, although I have yet to see a scene played out in Palace.

I would like to note though that the one difference at the Palace is that most slaves are really coddled when measured against the norm in real life. There are fewer slaves and way more subs and of the subs, far more spoiled brats. Their Owners seem to cater to them in ways that boggle My thoughts. I don't really care though, (to each their own) and as long as MY property behaves, I'm fine with whatever THEY do with theirs.

Today, I got a taste of what it's like when slaves run the show and much to My chagrin and embarassment, it was a slave trained by My own hand causing the disruption. It would take me a long time to really explain zef and how he goes about getting what he wants. he is very smart and manipulation in very subtle ways is his specialty. zef really likes his new MIstress and as usual he lost her collar and her trust and had to scramble to get it back. zef always thinks that the Mistresses that have owned him in the past pine to have him back and I suppose some of them might. I am not one of them. several slaves have told Me that zef boasted to them that he could have My steel back anytime that he wanted it. he pretty much believes this of any of his past Mistresses.

zef showed Me what he was made of when he put himself first asking for realease because I was busy makeing a move and settling in a new city, job and home and had little time to spend online. his needs came first and he went looking for a New Mistress. When he asked for release, it hurt but at the same time, I realized that it was for the best. his brother rahl and finn hung in there and stood by Me during this difficult and scary time.

I have stayed in contact with zef, going to check on him from time to time.. and that is how I came to the Palace. The first time I went there.. I didn't like it much and it still frustrates Me sometimes. This time it's easier. I went to visit zef's home and meet the new Mistress he told Me about.

I got a very cool reception. She is a new Mistress and zef is Her first boy. She was at the time considering whether to return him to Her collar. It is possible that some of what I percieve as a cool reception example... "Why do you come here? Why are you here? Why does your slave come here?" is a language barrier. Also, in fairness to Her, there is no telling what zef has told Her in his attempt to get attention and make Her believe that the need to re-collar him was imminent. he may have told Her that I want him back, or always follow him around or any number of things, NONE of which are true. I go to a Palace where he might be to see a friendly face or at least what I thought was a friendly face.


After finn and I both got an unfriendly reception at Shine where zef lives with his Mistress, I started frequenting Elysian fields and I like the people there. Some of the slaves are fun to talk to (devon, candy, clay and others)and I like the other Free. I like it that it isnt Gorean because even though that is My background I have been moving into new area's of interest.

I do not like to be adressed as Ma'am. It's NOT a Gorean thing, I just don't like it. I do know of the practice of not allowing slaves to address another Dominant as Master or Mistress so I usually say if they cannot adress Me as Mistress, to just use Ms or even NO honorific. I am not a Ma'am. I see it as frumpy and ugly way to greet Me. It does not please Me, and in My book, it's all about pleaseing Me. Not using Ma'am to greet Me in no way undermines the respect they wish to reserve for their own Mistress. Ms is fine and is more agreeable to Me although I don't like it, I can live with it.

zef has not been coming to Elysian Fields for a long time. I know he spoke to finn the other day and finn told him We have both been going there. zef was rude in My opinion to finn, also quizzing him about why he goes to Shine. I finally told finn not to go back there. There is no need to go where We are not welcome. but now all of a sudden zef is interested in going to Elysian Fields and showed up there today.
He greeted Me as Ma'am (which he KNOWS I do not like). I asked him not to call Me Ma'am he started with his drama queen antics about how he couldnt do that.

Tosca came in after a while and chimed in as well that She was his owner and he had to obey her. No one seemed to get it that I dont give a fuck if the slave talks to Me at all, I just don't want him to call Me Ma'am. After discussion, it was decided that he just would not speak to Me, which is really fine with Me.

Sometime last week, I commanded finn not to speak to Tosca just because I'm tired of this ridiculous fear She has of those that speak to zef. I hope She realizes soon that She cannot command his loyalty, it has to come from his heart. Commanding him not to speak to other Mistresses, especially those that have owned him before ( a HUGE number of Dommes) shows a problem right off the bat. She is young, She will learn. I just hope the impending storm that is certainly coming because of Her affiliation with zef, doesn't turn Her off to the lifestyle. We left things that way and zef left and I went to another room within the EF palace. Tosca left shortly after, the issue being solved.

I have a Gorean attitude towards slaves. a slave is a slave and I run the show they don't. Later when I was in EF on the Palace, zef came in and started the whole thing again. I said I couldnt believe he was doing that after all we had been through earlier when his Mistress was there as well. DeSima kicked in on his side (note She is another past owner of zef) stating he had to follow his Mistress command. So I wonder, since when is another Mistress able to command that her slave insult another Dominant and have that accepted. I don't demand he call Me Mistress. I only ask that he NOT call Me Ma'am, that he may address Me as Ms or NOT SPEAK TO ME AT ALL. I am so embarassed at his behavior and that I ever had anything to do with his training as a slave. he kept saying it over and over unil I finally got angry. I know better than to let him make Me angry. he wins... today he got his way. I no longer like EF when I saw that they will allow a slave to manipulate people this way so now it's ruined for Me.

zef wants finn and I gone from his world. he knew he could stir up this trouble and he knew just how to do it. again, he hurts himself and the slaveheart that he always wishes he could achieve but that he always sabotages with his own need to manipulate and top from the bottom. Tosca has been thouroughly run through a hoop and She jumped at precisely the right time. I did too actually when I got mad. he knew I would, he knew he could push Me and he knew that DeSima would support it. he also feeds his ego off the fact that he can make Tosca jealous or worried.

I'm angry and so so disappointed in zef. I had always hoped he would grow but instead he once again has chosen a Mistress he can control. No slave does themselves any favors when it seems they win, they have really lost.

I left the room feeling disappointed. I thought I found a place to hang out and have fun but I see I'll have to keep looking. finn may still go there if he wishes until I find somewhere else I want to go. this time.. I will just not tell zef where We are. he always seems to find out. Next time, I will be more careful. I can not really be angry at Tosca. She is new and really hasn't a chance against a pro like ahren. I think She is smarter than most though and I'm betting it won't take Her long to really figure out that he has a pattern.

finn's visit

I know it's late in writing this but I've been really busy since finn's visit. It really was wonderful to be with My boy again. I have to say that this weekend went so beautifully that I really couldnt believe it. I got off work on Friday and ran home to catch the train but Charles was able to give Me a ride in which was perfect. He was heading over to Astoria to visit with his buddies. finn met Me outside and we ran upstairs to put stuff down and then we headed downstairs to grab a quick bite to eat at the diner before Jenny and sam came to get us.

Jenny and sam came up to the room and we messed around with the boys a little. I was particularly interested in the dental gag that Jenny has for sam. It holds his mouth open thus gagging him without anything being stuffed in his mouth. It looks rather wicked with the steel and actually looks worse than it actually is. sam did say that it hurts his jaw if left on too long. (not that Jenny really cares about that.. lol) both boys seemed comfortable submitting in front of each other which was a good thing. Neither one is used to playing outside the realm of their own Owner. finn has more experience with this than sam from our trip to San Diego and our visit with Club X there.

After a while we dedided to head out to Paddles. When we got there it was a little slow. Jenny said later that she didn't like this and I told Her that I did because it meant that there is always a place to set up for play and people aren't bumping into you. Now, if you are looking for a slave to play with, it's better that it's crowded but in our case, I just wanted a place to play with fun equipment and not to have to worry about the noise. As it turned out, and much to the chagrin of finn I think, the only place we could really get was the main stage. I don't usually like to play there either but since it was a little slow, I decided it would be fine. I immediately chained finn to the suspension bar. I never took him off his feet but I would like to do that sometime. he is pretty tall so it would look awesome but I'd have to get a ladder to beat him so ..... maybe not....

sam was freaked out about being in public and didn't want to play which disappointed Jenny and by the time I finished with finn, he really wasn't a possibility. sam and Jenny play all the time at her apt so it's not like they missed out terribly. We had a discussion later about whether sam's dick stays hard or not is NOT a consideration when playing and that it wasn't all about him. today I'm just wanted to generally lay out a map of what we did. I do have comments about behaviors that I'm not really in the mood to go into. when finn and I got finished playing and let him off the stage we all sat around for a little while and when I realized that jenny and sam weren't going to play at all I figured it was time to head home. finn and I had a busy saturday planned and then the Venom club dungeon on Sat night.

sam took Me home and I was pretty tired from working all day and playing all night. I was up and on the train platform by 9 am the next morning and it was a beautiful day. We headed to Chelsea for some breakfast and ate at the venus diner. I was eavesdropping on the people behind us who were talking about films. I knew it was someone big so I got a good look at him on My way out. I was pretty sure it was Sydney Pollack and later I looked him up on the net and I WAS RIGHT. So after that we went to the new time warner bldg. and finn took pictures from the different levels and we looked around in the awesome shops there. After that we went to Central park. The NYC Marathon was running the next day so there was lots of activity and wind was blowing and it was beautiful. I had finn brush My hair while I just relaxed and watched all the activities. You know how sometimes you just know that something will always live on. Those moments.. sitting there were so wonderful that I think if I had to choose, I would choose that as My favorite moment of the weekend.

We made our way back to the hotel and watched a movie and took a nap then caught a cab to Jenny's to go to the Venom Club. I really liked it there but finn was in a strange mood. he didn't really want to play and I was kinda just enjoying looking around so We didnt.

The next day finn met Charles and I at Penn station and We took him to the Brazilian restaurant. We all had a good time and I'll talk more about that later too.

So finn left on Monday and I think he had a great time too.