Losing Your job is such a multifacted experience. I have known for quite some time that My company was going downhill. On Friday they had to let Me and 12 other people go. I really liked this job. I had a chance to expand My talents and grow so even though I will be looking for work again, I feel it was a positive experience and it is really nice to have people tell Me that I was valued and will be missed. In addition to missing My job, I need the money. I am not one of those blessed people that don't have to worry. At least this time I'm not terrified.
All that said, for someone like Me it is a frightening experience. I have been in a place where I really didnt know what I was going to do next and for people that have never been there, it's a truly horrible experience. Even though I knew it was coming, it still didn't reduce the feeling of fear in My belly when he said, "We are going to have to lay you all off." It is times like these that I am so thankful for Charles and finn and My family because I have this innate fear of being one of those poor people pushing around a shopping cart. Yes finnboy I know you wouldn't let Me be a shoppingcart lady... lol
Friday night was really bad for Me. I spent much of it online in the palace with friends there. It helped to be with finn and to just relax and be quiet. They knew I just needed to be with people that cared and I knew they would just let Me BE there.
Charles is wonderful and understanding. Having a partner to get through this with really helps and no matter how much I say it's ok, finn knows that it really bothers Me. I noticed that he was sticking pretty close to Me and his caring did not escape My notice. I was also talking to grae (who I used to own) about an idea I have for a pitch I want to make to Sirius Radio.
So let Me say... that I do know that when a door closes a window opens and I can't help but think that the universe is trying to point in a direction. Don't worry, I'll find it.
