Summer stuff

Today I was reading posts from people that went to TesFest and Leather Retreat and feeling JEALOUS! I know I have the option to go if I want to. Things have just been really hectic in My life between work, new grandbabies and the disappearance of my slave andrew which truly has bothered Me. I find I miss him. I'm not sure if I miss "him" or if I miss his service. Maybe it's both.

But I digress. So today, I was reading sue's post about needles. I read it over and over trying to find one tiny part that I could identify with and ... NADA. There is not one moment of what she said that made Me think, "well.. now THAT sounds interesting!" It's that phobia. The one about all things medical that will probably kill Me someday. I will admit that I have done very well with making Myself get scheduled tests but if they require needles... shudder. That is really something I can be sure I am not going to get accustomed to. I've been a LONG time in the scene and I've opened a lot of doors I thought I never would but that won't be one of them. I'm proud of sue that she found she liked them and I must say, I think finn did too, MUCH to My surprise. I think I'll have him read sue's written word and comment on it here.

Also, as badly as I THINK I want to go to Leather retreat, the more I hear about the cabiny cliques, the less I want to go. I think I feel more comfortable at TesFest and NO finn, it's not because there is a bubble bath and hair dryers instead of camp cabins and sweat. Although, everyone did talk about being really hot at camp which makes My nose wrinkle. I hate being sweaty. But I learned at the last TesFest that I love being outside to play in the courtyard. It was cool then though. Anyway, I missed both of them this year which is sad.

I missed most getting to see My fire Mentor Pairadox and his lovely girl. I love to watch her move and listen to her talk. I like to watch her lips. She is so graceful. I think I'm going to have to go to Alaska since I missed them. I feel a warmth when I talk to them like old friends. That means something when I get that picture in My head about someone. Everytime I watch Pairadox, I learn something new. It was MY idea for TES to have them. Anyway, I am going to have to let that go and get over it.

So, now that I have let andrew go, it will be time to replace him. That is NOT an easy task and worse than training a new puppy. Of course it would be easier if i would choose an already TRAINED slave but I'm sure I wont, I never have. I know what I want, what I'm looking for and it will not be an easy search.

I guess that is Par since nothing I ever choose to do works out to be easy.. lol