andrew resurfaces

I wanted to take a step back to a couple of weeks ago when Andrew resurfaced and speak about that a little. I've been worried about him and yes, the curiosity/closure facet was weighing on Me as well. The last contact I had with andrew was a text message from him as he boarded a train for NYC from NJ to go on a job interview set up by Charles with his company. Then... nothing.

Over the years, I have owned many slaves and I have taken My pleasure from them. It certainly is not a FREE pleasure. Anyone that has had a slave chain or household knows that with slaves and I borrow this word from Jack, they come to you with "stuff". This stuff can be so many things both physical and mental. Regardless of what form it takes, it's always a lot of work for the Dominant to either trudge through it, over it or around it. I am probably more nurturing than some Dominants and that is somewhat to please Myself because the part I love best about interacting with a slave is the control. That comes at a cost. The cost is usually time.

In andrew's case, his "stuff" was comprised of the fact that he was still living at home and even though he's been through college and acquired his BA, he's still treated by his family like a adolescent. He can't spend the night out and has to call several times while he's out and check in and has to give a time he will return home. The other "stuff" included his continued employment with the company he worked his way through college for and who continued to pay him wages only slightly above minimum wage. I set about "fixing" these problems in hopes of ending up with a slave that could serve and be successful at the same time.

When after getting this text message from andrew and then not hearing from him, I did of course start to worry. It just didn't fit his personality to disappear. I knew there had to be more to it and there was.

After getting on the train, he started to look for his phone where I had texted the address, phone number and name of the Branch Manager that would be interviewing him. panick. no phone anywhere. more panick.

he went home.

This is the generation of electronics. Remember the days when you would go to a phone booth or deli and look up a number or address in the PHONE BOOK. When speaking with andrew and questioning him about what happened and watching the blank look on his face when I said, why didn't you just go look it up in a phone book, I realized that this idea never occurred to him. Without a cellphone and no computer, he was lost. Totally lost.

In addition to not being able to find the business, his phone also had MY number in it which he did not have memorized OR written down anywhere. Why should he, it was in his PRECIOUS phone that is an extension of his right arm. His computer was at his mothers workplace, where they were trying to rid it of a virus. So, no way to message Me from there.

Now, I know that your minds are now clicking to all the things you all would have done to solve these problems but before you do that, let me add a few to the mix for you. Andrew knew that Charles had never done anything like this for any of My slaves before. He also knew that I had stepped out on a limb Myself by ASKING Charles to help. I don't like to be indebted to anyone, much less Charles who can be a hard taskmaster. In andrew's mind he had committed the ultimate slave sin. he had disappointed his Mistress and let her down. he has not said so, but I think in the back of his mind he was afraid to speak to Me. I cannot say that he was wrong to be afraid. It was very important to me that he get this job so that he could take steps to get out in the world and begin making his way in it. He would have health insurance, money for rent and food but most of all, freedom. I was pissed off and disappointed and suspicious that he derailed the project on purpose.

After days, pissed off turned to worry and then just sadness. I still felt I knew him to have more honor than to just run. I left a few messages on his phone, a few to yahoo and gmail and then on collarme.com where I also left him My phone number.

The second message to collarme brought a response. It felt wonderfully good to hear that "hello Mistress" on the other end of the phone. I know he was afraid of the conversation but I was ready to listen and judge. Yes, judge. I get to do that and I don't really have to be democratic or fair, only true to Myself and whatever arrangement I might have with My slave. I sat and listened to the story of what happened and then.... the worst part...

While the computer was at his mothers work, she decided to look through it. he was outed and with no lube. She came to him crying and along with his father, full of questions, the main one being, why? Not many of us can really say WHY we are in this lifestyle, even the more experienced of us still struggle. Jason once said to Me of andrew that there were few other submissives he'd met that were as naturally submissive as andrew. This is SO true so when andrew began to tell Me of the defense he mounted for himself, I was really proud that he could muster that much nerve and bravado. Since this "outing" was so dramatic and debilitating for andrew, I thought sharing what happened with Jack McGeorge and the Washington Post would help him feel a little better. At least andrews story wasn't picked up by the Associated Press. I think it helped him put it all in perspective. We have spoken together about how it may have had some positive effects. Later, andrew is going to write and tell his side of this and what he was thinking feeling to be yanked into the world of openly out BDSM'ers so violently and without his consent.


As andrew said to me, "Mistress, I sent you that text message and then everything went to hell."

Worse than that, he was without the support of his Mistress to help him out or guide him and he was now used to that. he thought that surely I had moved on, replaced him and forgotten him.

I hadn't.

I was not happy with him for not being a better problem solver and making his way to the interview. I was not happy about him not WRITING down the address first or having My number memorized or My email memorized. But I was happy that he was ok and not dead or mangled as I had imagined in My worst nightmares.

So, I called him to Me to serve. Last Monday he came to Me. he knew there was a price to pay and he seemed willing, more than willing to pay that price in order to begin to earn back his collar. The truth is that he never really lost it. Once I allow a slave to enter My Steel, very little can separate him from it short of losing his head and it rolling off. Of course he could LEAVE the steel by never speaking to Me again.

andrew knew there would be an interrogation and he knew there was a price to pay and punishment to endure. There would be pain. he's not a pain slut so that's not easy for him. It IS easy for Me. and so.. I do believe that from now if need be andrew can email Me or call Me without the benefit of his phone. I think there will come a time when he will be without his phone for a time. he's way too dependent on his electronics (Like someone ELSE I know, you know who you are). That pink was from his round one run in with My cherrywood paddle. and had him kicking and squirming. There were promises of learning to problem solve better and stop expecting everyone else to come up with answers.



Then he cleaned Our apartment with the help of clothespins on his balls and nipples and a dildo up his ass which I think was a little harder than having a plug where it's much easier not to lose it.

and he really didn't want to lose it.

So, the moral to this blog is that andrew is back and paying penance to his MIstress.

We are working on solutions and will go back to the drawing board for the game plan.

Expect to hear from andrew soon.

kiss kiss
Ky