I wonder or maybe I should say worry sometimes about slaves that just haven't quite gotten it yet. They know they are interested in being submissive or at least they think they are. The problem comes about when they have NO real idea of how to go about getting what they want and have either chosen a weak Dominant to guide them or have no one at all.
Being a submissive.. just like being a Dominant is always a "work in progress."
I have said before that I like to use the online experience not only to relax and just have fun but also to "try out" scenes that I might want to put into play or to test the mind of a submissive/slave that I'm interested in.
I think the internet has done so much for allowing those of us in the BDSM scene to actually meet others and finally have an outlet for our needs and desires that include getting actual experience and having a community that can educate others. Lets don't forget those localized organizations out there that often fly under the radar of the authorities because of archaic attitudes.
Lets talk about the good and the bad side of this new open door. When I interact with someone online, I do want to create a place in their mind that corresponds to the written word. I want them to feel a tiny bit of that chill that runs up their spine or down their belly. I'm constantly reading them and changing My own actions and reactions according to theirs. It's better for ME that way and I assume that they will appreciate that as well. I assume that if they don't really have any real life experience, that their plan is to do so as soon as they feel ready psychologically and can actually be in a place and time to make it happen. I always encourage slaves that haven't had any real life experience to seek out his/her organization and spend time in the company of others that are likeminded. This is the good side of the online experience.
The BAD side of the online experience are the people that insist on creating drama that ends with everyone being miserable and take their fantasies to a place that exists only in their own minds. It has never ceased to amaze Me why a submissive would waste precious time being a pain in the ass or to run around creating havoc when they would benefit so much spending their time learning more about the lifestyle they have chosen.
There are online rollplaying games that would satisfy the need to fight battles and perform magic. These games are set up to handle the havoc and no one gets hurt. I believe that behind every nick online is a beating heart and it's a travesty to play games that hurt others.
Another point of interest is that with the open door of the internet, we are getting much younger players that bring in their high school drama and immaturity with them. Its a win/lose situation. ON one hand I'm very happy they get to discover what they want before they end up in a vanilla marriage that will surely send them out hunting for what they need later and on the other, we are left to deal with the young boys and mostly girls that run around grabbing collars and crying dramatically when that doesn't work out. They run to grab the next collar and change them like last nights wet panties. Unfortunately, they don't know how to act when a real Dominant comes around and actually takes them in hand.
The online collar has sadly morphed into something like an ID bracelet or a senior ring and dramatic "break-ups" are common place. A collar is not a designator of "going steady", it's a designation that this submissive has agreed to be under the control of someone who will be their Dominant and control aspects of their life and behavior.
As an example of a girl taking advantage of being lucky enough to be Owned, the other night I was sitting in a circle discussing items of interest in our BDSM community here in NYC. A girl across from Me had on a very simple leather collar and Her Master was speaking to the circle. I watched her face trying to get a read on her. She obviously adored him but that isn't the important message I saw in her face. I saw her grabbing information to use later for herself. She was learning. This is good use of a submissive's time. Much better than running around being a brat in order to be punished or used then turning around and screaming to high heaven that they never wanted that when their Owner shows up. The owner that allows this situation is in big trouble down the road.
Later on in another post, I will speak to the switch situation. I think that a certain formula for disaster comes about when a slave is in control of slave. It actually ends up being something like this, "I'm in control, no you are, no you are.. then WHO THE FUCK IS IN CONTROL HERE?"
Lastly to those worthy people trying to enjoy themselves on line in the midst of some of this ridiculous behavior, I say this about My way of handling this. I am a good Dominant. I enjoy this lifestyle and the people in it. I prefer to spend My time with positive experiences and the people that allow me to have them. I will not grace the drama queens/kings with My attention. If they are not given a stage, they cannot do the play. Enjoy your time online and in real life and keep the drama students in school where they belong and NOT on your playground. And to the drama enthusiasts, you would be much better off enjoying the exploration of the new exciting things that await you. Settle down and if you have been a brat, apologize and make improvements in your behavior and move forward. You will be ever so glad you did later on.
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