OK, so yesterday I allowed Myself a little bit of a pity party. Charles got to the new apt early and I of course was chomping on the bit for pictures from his trusty camera phone to see this place that I have agreed to live in sight unseen. I was not a happy camper. I have never done this before but it IS an adventure. You know what, that is not true. When I moved from Beaumont, Texas to New York in 2001, I had never seen the house or My room and I had never actually MET debbie, although We had been friends online for several years.
I remember sitting in my new tiny lil room with the adorable slanted ceiling above the alcove for the bed and looking to the end of the bed where harley and lady were both sitting with their big eyes looking at me silently saying, "ok.. NOW what have you done with us all?" It was a scary time but one that brought about really good changes for Me. My experience in the lifestyle and as a Mistress was about to really blossom and I was going to learn things about Myself that I never knew. I always used to sit and think, I'm not doing somthing right, I'm supposed to be somewhere else, doing something else. New York opened all that up for Me. Also, and most important, as I was sitting on the porch on the second night there Charles walked up the sidewalk and We had Our beginning. For that. I thank the heavens.. and well.. finn.... since he really pushed for Me to stay with Charles. More about all that later because I digress.. (as usual).
So I saw the pictures and started to cry. Now you must understand that if I am reduced to tears, it's REALLY bad. finn had suggested a really good excersize to write down all the pro's and conn's of moving back to New York and weigh them. This worked and the final decision was to just GO! After I saw the pics of this apt I was NOT as optomistic anymore. This place needs major work. finn pointed out that the basement in deb's house was much worse. The difference is, that that basement was in a really great part of Staten Island with a beautiful park across the street. There is no closet space here and I suppose I got to looking around this beautiful HUGE apartment that is renting for $50 less that our new disaster of an apt. and thought this whole experience in fucking lousyana has been like playing Mother May I and taking 10 giant steps BACKWARDS. I believe in moving forward .. always FORWARD in life. This is what reduced Me to tears and I'm not sure if they were tears of fury at the company that screwed Me so badly in this or for the closet that will not hold all My clothes. Never the less, I was feeling sorry for Myself and pretty much cried all day as I poured over the pictures.
I spoke to Jenny for a while about this situation and She seemed so upbeat about it and also that I had a pretty sweet deal on the rent and I must admit I felt better. Just knowing that I can go over there and go have coffee with Her is a big plus. How will I not smoke though... hmmm.. need to encourage Jenny to stop smoking or I will be smoking again in no time.... lol
Then I drove to New Orleans to pick up Charles from the airport and I know he was worried about Me. He's so smart though. He knows that I don't want a pat on the head or sympathy. He knows I want solutions. When I'm upset like that I want a solution to show itself. He started talking about Luke and Jimmy, the gay couple that own the house and the front porch and the neighbors. He talked about the local diner that serves such good food and that they DELIVER. AHHHH, I thought... I have missed delivered food. He started talking about how pretty the snow was going to look from the second floor window and that now when I traveled to the city it would be mostly above ground and I could look out the windows of the train. TRAINS... I LOVE Trains. I have been very lonely down here for friends and mostly My lifestyle friends. Living in Rosedale makes an easy visit for people to come see Me on the Long Island Railroad and get back home. Our German friend Hilger and Michelle have a new baby and I'm looking foward to meeting the new family member. I'm giving up a beautiful apartment where I am miserable and in return I'm getting a "project apartment" which might promise new friends and reunions with old ones. I suppose it's a pretty good trade.
So today, after spending the morning talking to My slave, My creativity kicked in and I started rising to the challenge of making it in this new place. Paint colors and window treatments and furniture placement, landscaping... I turned an eye to My closet to pack up clothes I dont wear so I can fit things in the closet. I can do this.... this is a new adventure.
When Charles opened his eyes this morning I was leaning My chin on the bed beside him.... My comment was ... "Baby, do you think the movers could come EARLY?"...........
Kiss kiss
Ky
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